MyLifeIsAverage

Life is pretty normal today.
I was playing Risk at my youth pastor's house. He was the black pieces and I was red. He had just taken over North America. The pizza delivery man, who was African American came to the door and while waiting for the money he asked me how he was doing. Without thinking I responded: "I would be doing a lot better if I could get the blacks out of America". It took me 10 minutes to explain that I was not a racist..just an airhead. MLIA
#667282 Comments: 155 Vote: average 8726meh 629Share 
[ - ]  CanYouHandleTheRandomGood: 8Bad: 22 years ago
Your booty is filled with air.
 
[ - ]  waffledragonGood: 9Bad: 02 years ago
My lungs are filled with air.
 
[ - ]  GeijutsuWaBakuhatsuDaKATSUGood: 5Bad: 42 years ago
But you're a dragon. Your lungs should be filled with fire.
 
[ - ]  PervertGood: 9Bad: 142 years ago
Penis.
 
[ - ]  GeijutsuWaBakuhatsuDaKATSUGood: 4Bad: 12 years ago
Not you again!
 
[ - ]  NZChickyGood: 1Bad: 22 years ago
Pervert! I haven't seen you in ages!
 
[ - ]  waffledragonGood: 14Bad: 22 years ago
My lungs are definitely not filled with penis.
 
[ - ]  hi5534Good: 2Bad: 22 years ago
LOL!!!!!!
 
[ - ]  GeijutsuWaBakuhatsuDaKATSUGood: 2Bad: 42 years ago
But you're a dragon. Your lungs should be filled with fire.
 
[ - ]  ShroomsOnAcidGood: 3Bad: 02 years ago
And waffles. And also you should sneeze syrup.
 
[ - ]  waffledragonGood: 2Bad: 02 years ago
Don't tell me what to do! *runs away crying*
 
[ - ]  ShroomsOnAcidGood: 2Bad: 02 years ago
Omg I'm so sorry... Perhaps if you breathe out a couple waffles and sneeze them some syrup we could have a little chat over them and forget about this mishap.
 
[ - ]  eabowieGood: 10Bad: 12 years ago
And poop butterflies.
 
[ - ]  CanYouHandleTheRandomGood: 3Bad: 02 years ago
And leak drainage fluid.
 
[ - ]  waffledragonGood: 2Bad: 02 years ago
Only when I eat rainbows.
 
[ - ]  ShroomsOnAcidGood: 1Bad: 12 years ago
That should be poop butter. Period. You know. For them waffles. Mmmm.
 
[ - ]  happy_as_averageGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago
And burb bubbles.
 
[ - ]  waffledragonGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Jeez, I have more talents than I realized.
 
[ - ]  ShroomsOnAcidGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I would imagine that would rupture more than a couple blood vessels, though I'm not an expert on the subject of air filled behinds.
 
[ - ]  DormskiezGood: 5Bad: 32 years ago
i just flat out hate you
 
[ - ]  LolzbucketGood: 0Bad: 22 years ago
I agree with you.
 
[ - ]  _TheOP_Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
F U
 
[ - ]  AverageRaWr_o7Good: 3Bad: 42 years ago
Toooo Long.
 
[ - ]  CanYouHandleTheRandomGood: 13Bad: 12 years ago
Dude, it's genetics.
 
[ - ]  plummGood: 7Bad: 92 years ago
Just said no. Just now. Fuck you MLIA and fuck you OP.
 
[ - ]  iWriteGood: 2Bad: 12 years ago
Me too.
 
[ - ]  _TheOP_Good: 0Bad: 12 years ago
F U
 
[ - ]  TheSaneManiacGood: 9Bad: 12 years ago
He asked you how he was doing? That's odd... Couldn't he determine that for himself?
 
[ - ]  klaybabyy15Good: 0Bad: 22 years ago
lol
 
[ - ]  TheSaneManiacGood: 4Bad: 12 years ago
Thank you, klaybabyy15, for ruining my previously unsoiled comment.
 
[ - ]  KWinchesterGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago
*points* I just laughed so hard at this.
 
[ - ]  OctoPieGood: 3Bad: 22 years ago
I agree. Your head is nothing but air.
 
[ - ]  eabowieGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago
Hm... you think airheads could be a new species? A relative of the illegal? ;)
 
[ - ]  CelestialGood: 6Bad: 02 years ago
More suited for FML, I think?
 
[ - ]  DormskiezGood: 5Bad: 32 years ago
Im starting to hate this site more and more.
 
[ - ]  klaybabyy15Good: 2Bad: 22 years ago
agreed :)
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 4Bad: 52 years ago
I hate Risk.
 
[ - ]  KWinchesterGood: 6Bad: 12 years ago
Do you like to be risk-eh?
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 2Bad: 12 years ago
Yes I like to be risk-eh! *takes shirt off*
 
[ - ]  KWinchesterGood: 2Bad: 12 years ago
...Mine or yours?
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 2Bad: 12 years ago
Both.
 
[ - ]  KWinchesterGood: 1Bad: 12 years ago
Oh baby, oh baby.
 
[ - ]  hippo_campusGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago
Any room for one more?
 
[ - ]  waffledragonGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Jeez, get a room.
 
[ - ]  KWinchesterGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
HC: No, sorry. WD-40: xP
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Kw, up for a threesome?
 
[ - ]  KWinchesterGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
...Depends on the third.
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Umm... whoever you want it to be!
 
[ - ]  hippo_campusGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
*mumbles* Damn.
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I'm voting hippo though.
 
[ - ]  KWinchesterGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Hrm...I'm going to have to plead the fifth, then, honey. For now, anyway.
 
[ - ]  GeijutsuWaBakuhatsuDaKATSUGood: 1Bad: 22 years ago
Mine.
 
[ - ]  KWinchesterGood: 2Bad: 02 years ago
OTTO and I are e-married, toots. Nothing can come between us.
 
[ - ]  GeijutsuWaBakuhatsuDaKATSUGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
*runs away in tears* No one loves me!
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Yea, back off bitch!
 
[ - ]  iloveyoumarvindustyGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago
I would... But I'm also e-married. We can just be friends though.
 
[ - ]  happy_as_averageGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago
Not even me.
 
[ - ]  GeijutsuWaBakuhatsuDaKATSUGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago
*sulks in corner*
 
[ - ]  hippo_campusGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago
I tried to learn it once. I didn't quite catch on.
 
[ - ]  agirllikeannabelleGood: 4Bad: 02 years ago
AirHeads are delicious.
 
[ - ]  DormskiezGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago
YOU are delicious
 
[ - ]  agirllikeannabelleGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Thank you.
 
[ - ]  DormskiezGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
you're welcome
 
[ - ]  kiskaGood: 7Bad: 12 years ago
Pastor, his house, playing a game, free meal.....hmmmm.
 
[ - ]  MobileGood: 4Bad: 12 years ago
Well, thank God that those racist commenters aren't on right now... they'd have a field day.
 
[ - ]  TheSaneManiacGood: 4Bad: 02 years ago
A field day with free ice cream and a waterslide...
 
[ - ]  kiskaGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
They could be here, you might have woke a sleeping giant.
 
[ - ]  KWinchesterGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago
...If they come online now, I will hate you forever. I hope you know that.
 
[ - ]  MobileGood: 1Bad: 12 years ago
It's not my fault.
 
[ - ]  KWinchesterGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I will still hate you forever. *harrumphs*
 
[ - ]  merrysongstressGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
harrumph....what a fun word!
 
[ - ]  KWinchesterGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I enjoy it. :D
 
[ - ]  breathecarolinafanGood: 1Bad: 12 years ago
Oh KWin, you'll hate him? At least they're not using your name for their comments.
 
[ - ]  KWinchesterGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
...I has the best name ever as no one can clone it.
 
[ - ]  hippo_campusGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
BCF has a rather valid point. But we should stop speaking of this. They might come back.
 
[ - ]  breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I wish they cloned my name, it would have been better than the breathecarolinafan...........whatever.
 
[ - ]  agirllikeannabelleGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I am so screwed in the cloning way. I have a shitload of ways. Fuck...
 
[ - ]  hippo_campusGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
There's a few possibilities for my name. I think.
 
[ - ]  breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago
Hey KWin, how am I?
 
[ - ]  TheSaneManiacGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Hey, bcf, you stealing my observation?
 
[ - ]  KWinchesterGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Iunno; how you is?
 
[ - ]  breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 22 years ago
Umm...no? More than one person can't observe the same thing?
 
[ - ]  TheSaneManiacGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I was just jokin' around! Don't get all defensive!
 
[ - ]  merrysongstressGood: 2Bad: 02 years ago
if only there was someone who could hide certain posts to minimize embarrassment, such as voting down stories that are silly [!]
 
[ - ]  NZChickyGood: 1Bad: 42 years ago
Dont lie OP, you actually do want the blacks out of America and used this whole 'risk game playing' as an excuse to hide your hatred
 
[ - ]  _TheOP_Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
F U
 
[ - ]  hazelfGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
AHA. AHAAA.
 
[ - ]  CanYouHandleTheRandomGood: 3Bad: 02 years ago
I will not climb your mountains.
 
[ - ]  i8pnutbtrGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
and I won't climb the latter either.
 
[ - ]  happy_as_averageGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
And I won't climb the ant hills.
 
[ - ]  NZChickyGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I will not climb your lady lumps!
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 22 years ago
OP forgot 'Today' and there should be ... after racist.
 
[ - ]  Im_a_ninja_101Good: 0Bad: 12 years ago
I really hate rain...... random.
 
[ - ]  CanYouHandleTheRandomGood: 8Bad: 12 years ago
I love rain! It's like a free public shower.
 
[ - ]  Im_a_ninja_101Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Yeah, but snows better.
 
[ - ]  happy_as_averageGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Anyone else hoping for a snow day tomorrow?
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago
The rain is the shit dude!!!!
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 1Bad: 02 years ago
Iamthatgirl...it's me...
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
HEY!!!
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
*begins to sepak of previous matters that no one else knows about* You still in?!?!
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Definitely! How do you think I could sneak a toothbrush?
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I mean not quite fond of sticking it up a hole and we can't wear clothes so...
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
We will make a pick out of toothbrushes...like a guy with an afro would! Do we plan on walking there, or getting a ride too...you know where *points indiscreetly to the east*
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Well I heard that there was a bus that takes you there. Except we'd have to meet in California because that's where it is. Do you want to just meet in California and take the bus from there? It would be kind of long to walk.
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
True, my trek would be long enough! Yours would still take a while, but long enough; and yes how do you like Greyhound??? They take us to Sacramento, where I hear we must take a "special" taxi. *begins to explain what 'special' means*
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Sounds like a plan. And the taxi does sounds special. Works for me if it works for you?
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
We have a plan stan...er, in your case...stanella? Ha idk. Well we must find the ambassador of Sextonia so we know who to avoid...if you find out anything, I'm just a reply away! *laughs at lame pun*
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Wait what was the pun?? Sorry didn't get it (:
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Ha I realized it wasn't a pun after I pressed submit; I was thinking pun was wrong and joke would be better, but put pun...! I have to be more consistent if we are going to pull this off...
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
It's all good. Better to make the mistakes now than later. And I do have to ask this question. You are a guy right?
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Yep; *refers to your username* girl... I may presume?!
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Yea. Just wanted to be sure. Didn't want any surprises on the trip.
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
*sees each other nude* Oh lawdy lawdy lawdy...what is that appendage! I-I-I... I"m speechless *is speechless*
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
See that's what I'm trying to avoid.
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Hello?
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
sorry! trying to find superbowl commercials on youtube but having a hard time for some reason! excuse the undercapitalization...* is happy because of the new made up word*
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I am enjoying the new work as well. Do you recommend for me to look anything up on Youtube? I never did watch the Superbowl so I missed the commercials.
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
there is a hilarious betty white snickers commercial you have to watch! and all of the doritos commercials were funny; those are only a few
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
*new word* sorrry
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Yea I saw a few of the Doritos ones. But I just watched the Snickers one. Oh my god! That's hilarious!!
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Ha betty white makes it that much better; I've always loved her :)
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I think she's really funny. I loved the part where he's like "You're playing like Betty White out there". And she's like " That's not what you're girlfriend said!" 8)
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I always liked watching her on gameshow network on The Match Game! Haven't seen her in a while. The GSN has gotten all 21st century and don't play good shows anymore ):
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Okay so type in "best commercial ever" and go to the second video clip of the kid. It's really funny.
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
God I love commercials that lead you thinking it will go somewhere else! I've seen that before but forgot all about it! Type in bud light swear jar and it is my absolute all time favorite commercial ever!! *begins typing in bud light swear jar*
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Wow. That's such a *like in the commercial* fucking great commercial. *puts in a quarter* But I couldn't hear it all that well because my brother and his friend and playing the drums and guitar really loud in the room next to mine. Ugh. Damn it. *puts in another quarter* I did that last one just for kicks. (:
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Try this one. It's crazy. Best Super Bowl Commercial 2009.
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Discovered it during school last year and have never found any better commercial...except the baskin robins ice cream and cake and cake commercial. I love them! Ha I do the dance every time in my head (:
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Ice Cream and Cake Cake Cake. Ice cream and Cake Cake Cake... Love that commercial. Man, now I want Basking Robbins!
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
*Baskin Robins* Sorry!
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
never had it! the nearest one is like 25 mins or so...so i never go
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
WHAT?!?!?!?!!?! YOU NEVER HAD BASKIN ROBINS???? So you have to watch their amazing commercials and not get any of their ice cream??? This is a crime!!! More than murder! When we meet in California before going on the taxi I am taking you to Baskin Robins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
:D that's all I can say! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D x 109459460948! I hear they are great, but extra fattening
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Yea they're worse for you then other places. But it's worth it!!!!!
 
[ - ]  iamthatgirlGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Sorry got to go. Talk to you soon.
 
[ - ]  iPhone13Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I've got calculus so yeh same here :)
 
[ - ]  CanYouHandleTheRandomGood: 2Bad: 02 years ago
Poop is the shit!
 
[ - ]  GeijutsuWaBakuhatsuDaKATSUGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
That wasn't random enoughz
 
[ - ]  GeijutsuWaBakuhatsuDaKATSUGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
*enough.
 
[ - ]  CanYouHandleTheRandomGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago
Get off my skin, muffler puff.
 
[ - ]  Im_a_ninja_101Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Noo. I like snow!!
 
[ - ]  TheSaneManiacGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago
I really hate your lie filled username.
 
[ - ]  Im_a_ninja_101Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I really don't care.
 
[ - ]  i8pnutbtrGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
I really hate snow..... not random because i live in a sucky IA
 
[ - ]  Im_a_ninja_101Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago
But snow is amazing.
 
[ - ]  sundayporchGood: 1Bad: 32 years ago
That's way above air headedness. That's moronic.
 
[ - ]  sundayporchGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Oooh~ somebody's out to get me with the bads tonight.
 
[ - ]  VegetarianCannibalGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago
Let's pretend I voted yes for this one... Was that a bad idea..?
 
[ - ]  breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 32 years ago
Fuck you.
 
[ - ]  VegetarianCannibalGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
Hello my ray of sunshine.
 
[ - ]  breathecarolinafanGood: 2Bad: 22 years ago
*Looks around for the sun* Umm...
 
[ - ]  CanYouHandleTheRandomGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago
TENSO!
 
[ - ]  agirllikeannabelleGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago
Read the comments; OF COURSE it was a bad idea.
 
[ - ]  ccbmoreGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
HAHA I have LOTR risk, tryna get the orcs out of mordor :)
 
[ - ]  RAWRsaysDINOGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago
RAWR.
 

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