MyLifeIsAverage - Life is pretty normal today

Once, I got home from school and my mom was sitting at the dining room table looking unusually serious. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that she had something important to tell me. I sat down, and she said, "I want you to know that if you ever come across an armadillo, DO NOT touch it under any circumstances. They spread leprosy." I live in Maryland, and I have never seen an armadillo in my life. I was rendered completely speechless. MLIA

#665497 Comments: 82 Vote: average 4916meh 281Share

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 1Bad: 92 years ago

First

[ - ] iLikewafflesGood: 1Bad: 12 years ago

The worst.

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 2Bad: 12 years ago

I burst

[ - ] HellziezGood: 1Bad: 12 years ago

I drove a hurse?

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 1Bad: 12 years ago

I own a purse... sorry had to be included :)

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 1Bad: 32 years ago

I'll rape you where it hurts.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 1Bad: 22 years ago

For me, rape never hurts ;)

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago

*initiates pitchfork rape*

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago

*Faking the pain but clearly enjoying it.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago

Oh calm down, I kid, I kid :)

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago

*takes out chainsaw, hammer and ducttape

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago

Raises eyebrow curiously as to what he/she plans to do with those objects.

[ - ] AlexisAculaGood: 1Bad: 22 years ago

I voted against this one because it was too long, then it got posted. I read it. Shouldn't have bothered.

[ - ] HellziezGood: 1Bad: 22 years ago

I drove a hurse?

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 1Bad: 22 years ago

Reply button please

[ - ] iLikewafflesGood: 1Bad: 22 years ago

Reply button, hun. ------------------------------>

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 1Bad: 12 years ago

Is an armadillo like those animal things? ur.. with like meh fuck it.

[ - ] HellziezGood: 1Bad: 12 years ago

Sorry just decided to reply instead So it doesnt get lost...

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago

The saints arth cumming

[ - ] iLikewafflesGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

That doesn't sound like a very saint like thing to do.

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Christian porn, now with saints!

[ - ] TheBaddingFairyGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago

Armadillo.

[ - ] USBGood: 1Bad: 12 years ago

I shall become as famous as mobile one day. REMEMBER ME!

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Already forgotten

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago

Remember who?

[ - ] iLikewafflesGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Not like that, you won't (-_-)

[ - ] TheBaddingFairyGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Tsk tsk. *waggles finger*

[ - ] MobileGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago

I like how I'm "famous."

[ - ] iLikewafflesGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

There be famous people on these MLIA streets.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Oh you love it!

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

You're not famous, you're like the troll god of MLIA

[ - ] TheBaddingFairyGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Why 'troll' god?

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

No idea.

[ - ] MobileGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Okay, first off, saying "first" is what trolls do. You are guilty of that. Then, you accuse one of the few people on here who are as anti-troll as can be as being one. You sir, are pissing on your own intelligence right now.

[ - ] TheBaddingFairyGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

I IZ THE (retired) TROLL 'ROUND THESE HERE PARTS! *puffs out chest*

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Intelligence?? What the hell is that??

[ - ] MobileGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Intelligence? Really? ... I have no hope for the planet. Let me try in your language: DUUURRRRRRRRRRRR, SMART STUFF IN YOUR HEAD.

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

The electric impulses that control your personality and behaviourial patterns??

[ - ] MobileGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

... Are you just trying to piss me off?

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Oh indeed, i'm so boooooored

[ - ] MobileGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Well, you know, once I've figured that out, you've lost all hope as to obtaining that goal.

[ - ] MobileGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Troll? How am I a troll?

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

You live in a cave, and eat humans

[ - ] iLikewafflesGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

My laptop battery is at 12%

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

:O Charge it! I don 19t want it to die :(

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

why does that keep happening to you when you rightttt?!?!? also... Whats your name? just first name.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Who are you asking?

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

youuuuuu, cause you live in Brisbane... you never know, I might be bestfriends with you.. though i doubt it.

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

charge it :D

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 12 years ago

Ok what is with my computer and adding 19 to everything? (rhetorical question :))

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

bahahah i just asked that above!

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Haha, my bad, well my name is Genevieve :) haha what is yours? Just call me Gen, my name is way to long!

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

hehe HI GEN! and my name is SARAH! but you may call me nips..

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Haha, HELLO NIPS?! In a completely non stalkerish way, what school do you go to? It 19s OK if you don 19t want to answer.

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

haha hmm I dont want people to stalk me! but i go to a school in in city...with er... hmm Eh its hard!! ill think about it some more.. what about you?

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Haha, well I live just outside the city like taking bus it would be like 20ish minutes. Haha, it would have been freaky as if we were like neighbours or something!

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

haha yes it would be!!

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Haha, I shall be watching my neighbours houses very carefully from now on (suspicious eyes)

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Tomorrow afternoon, I will go outside and do the chicken dance... if you see someone doing that Its me.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Yes, and I shall stand on my car and sing a pretty song while attempting the moon walk, if you see a person doing that, either they are a physco and run, or it is me.. if it is you should also run :0

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

i will give them a hug and hope they dont rape me :D

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Thank you captain obvious

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOU!?!?!?! YOU WERE BEING SO NICE BEFORE YOU NOW YOU ARE BEING A FUCKING DICK! hehe caps rape.

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

I'm bored, frida, won't let me leave-.-

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

And who might Frida be?

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

just leave hahaha dont make a douche of yourself.

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Frida is a friend, and she'll give me a kebab if i stay-.- so torn

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 2Bad: 02 years ago

go buy your own kebab..

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

May I have a kebab?

[ - ] PoetsPissPizzaGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

I don't have any money-.-

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Oh the conundrums of the world. I fear I must depart fellow MLIAians, but do not fret I might be here tomorrow. You lucky people :) ( I swear to god if there is a 19 in there I will stab it)

[ - ] xfuckxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

byeeeeeeeeee... watch out for someone dancing tomorrow arvo...

[ - ] AmayaShadowFoxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

...? ummm... im speechless...

[ - ] iiFastForwardGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Maryland. Just made my day.

[ - ] turnedoffTVgreyGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

This is not true. They are used as a research model for leprosy, but they don't carry it.

[ - ] LKBMGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

They do carry it. Some claim it's because experimental ones escaped, but it's not entirely clear. At any rate, it's pretty well established. Cecil Adams says so, I know one person who was told by the federal(?) government (back in the 60s) that they had to stop eating armadillo (an old Texas 'favorite') due to it.

[ - ] sunf10werGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

You use proper grammar, AND you live in Maryland. Twin :)

[ - ] FortsGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

You don't have armadillos?

[ - ] MarylandGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

They're out there...

[ - ] shelly897Good: 0Bad: 02 years ago

is maryland like really boring because i forgot it was a state for like 3 years...not to be mean or anything...

[ - ] xguitargirlxGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

It can be, it is usually forgotten. It's kind of neglected...Like North and South Dakota..People forget it's there...But thats why North Dakota is my favorite state. Haha.

[ - ] kelslynn3Good: 0Bad: 01 year, 9 months ago

Certain parts of Maryland can be very boring.

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