MyLifeIsAverage - Life is pretty normal today

A few days ago, one of my best friends finally broke up with her jerk of a boyfriend because he had been pressuring her too much. She had already bought him his Christmas present, though, which was a pair of drumsticks he really wanted. So she left them on his car with a note saying "because you can't play me, and you will never bang me." MLIA

#1261669 Comments: 81 Vote: average 6149meh 337Share

[ - ] kiskaGood: 1Bad: 71 year, 10 months ago

In other words, she was saying that she was ready to be fucked.

[ - ] breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

...Ok then.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 5Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I actually found this slightly amusing. *amazed*

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 4Bad: 41 year, 10 months ago

Something about banging? Holy fuck, this is very relevant to my interests.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 4Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

IWYV, you know what I realised? some girl out there has your virginity.

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 7Bad: 31 year, 10 months ago

Don't talk about my momma like that.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 4Bad: 21 year, 10 months ago

I will talk about your momma the way I want to biatch.

[ - ] iampaulGood: 5Bad: 21 year, 10 months ago

I am his mom

[ - ] MobileGood: 9Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Today, I read an MLIA that was not average, but was funny, contained no cliches, and had a good innuendo, so I clicked "average" anyway. MLINotPlayingByTheRules. P.S.: I'm single, not a jerk, and will not pressure you. I promise.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 3Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I am single and ready to mingle.

[ - ] MobileGood: 3Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

I'm not gonna rhyme. But I will fuck if you want to.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 2Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Rhyme is no crime, but lets get it on.

[ - ] MobileGood: 3Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Okay. *takes off shirt*

[ - ] ContraCostaGood: 4Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

But are you ready to tingle?

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 0Bad: 81 year, 10 months ago

Wow. This is very boring. Fuck you all. *leaves*

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 9Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

IWYV, We have a son. I TOLD YOU IT CAN STILL HAPPEN ON THE FIRST TIME!

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 2Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

*returns* Fuck.

[ - ] iampaulGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Lol I like this one

[ - ] PERFECTLYparGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Wait, she broke up with him and gave him the drumsticks to prove to him that he couldn't play/bang her while making a pun about playing/banging drums? But the analogy doesn't transfer. Now he CAN play/bang the drums, but it was supposed to be that he couldn't. And she gave him a present even though he was a jerk.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 3Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Don't ponder over OP's stories, they never add up.

[ - ] breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Lalalalala.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Dah, Da, Da, Da

[ - ] breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Stop that.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Im sorry, I just wanted to feel included, *shuffles away crying*

[ - ] kiskaGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

That is not how it is done. Do it correctly please.

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 1Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

*does it doggy style*

[ - ] breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I LOVE YOU.

[ - ] ActionManGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

"Today, i fot a forward saying "3 facts of life: 1. u can't touch all ur teeth with ur tongue. 2. ur a retard cuz u just tried.3.Now ur smiling cuz ur an idiot." I.love.that.forward. MLIA" Oh Jesus Christ, kill it with fire!

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

*Strikes match and laughs wickedly.*

[ - ] MobileGood: 11Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

1. I knew I could. 2. I did it because it made me realize I hadn't brushed my teeth in about 6 hours 3. I was not smiling. There's a slight layer of plaque buildup. *goes to brush teeth*

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I laughed at this.

[ - ] MobileGood: 1Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Are you gonna fuck me or am I gonna have to put my shirt back on and go to sleep?

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

*tears of shirt and climbs into bed* does that answer your question?

[ - ] MobileGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

*tears off your pants* Yes.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I MEANT NO!... oh well, rips of clothes and smiles.

[ - ] MobileGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I don't kiss on the mouth unless you're my girlfriend. Just saying. *kisses neck*

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I didn't do it.

[ - ] melxindieex3sbGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

he couldn't buy the drumsticks he really wanted by himself..? I'm sure they weren't that expensive.

[ - ] kiskaGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

...and this radom comment is brought to you by a newbie. Newbie, please introduce yourself and tell us where you are from.

[ - ] kiskaGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

*random

[ - ] breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Hahaha I love you.

[ - ] kiskaGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I love you tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......

[ - ] breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Goodnight babe.

[ - ] PERFECTLYparGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Sigh. All this hate on random comments..

[ - ] kiskaGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Goodnight Parfait!

[ - ] PERFECTLYparGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Are you leaving?! D:

[ - ] melxindieex3sbGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I'm Melinda, and I'm from New York. (:

[ - ] breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

And you clearly don't knows how to use the reply button.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Ok rules of MLIA, punctuation and spelling are a must, if you make a mistake thats ok, just try to correct it. and always hit the reply button unless your starting a different conversation.

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Hi Melinda. I'm Dan. Nice to meet you.

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 0Bad: 21 year, 10 months ago

*Cringes* FUCK, I hate being nice!

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Now that I know your secret identity I will eliminate you, Dan.

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

But where do I live? Hmmmm?

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Australia... at *muffle*

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Noooooooo...

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

*glares* One day....

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Seattle :)

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Now I feel bad for you because you do not live in the mightly land of Australia. Poor thing.

[ - ] MobileGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I'm Jon. I'm from Boston. I hate New York as a general rule of thumb, but we'll see.

[ - ] melxindieex3sbGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Actually my phone wouldn't let me hit the reply button. Thanks for trying to make me look stupid though, I really appreciate it.. Hi Dan and Jon, you don't have to be nice to me if you don't want. I can be a bitch too.

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 0Bad: 21 year, 10 months ago

Don't worry, I'll fuck you with a brick twice a day.

[ - ] MobileGood: 0Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

I know. It's why I hate New Yorkers, for the most part.

[ - ] potterzhotterGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Mighty land of Australia?? Pfffft

[ - ] PERFECTLYparGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I'm going to let the reply fail slide because I like your name and because I like NY, but in the future, use the Reply Button. It's on the lower right hand corner of the person you're talking to's comment. It lets us know what you're talking about and to whom, and makes you look less lost.

[ - ] ContraCostaGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Hi Melinda, I'm Alex from Australia.

[ - ] ActionManGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Hey, I'm Johnny and I'm from New Zealand.

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I am Gen.

[ - ] potterzhotterGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

where in NZ, may I ask?

[ - ] breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

I'm BCF, I'm from Utah. We may or may not get along. Most people on this site love me.

[ - ] PERFECTLYparGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

It's in The Rules.

[ - ] breathecarolinafanGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

It better be in The Rules.

[ - ] breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

My love is leaving. Now I'm sad, and my hand still hurts.

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I'm still here. Oh yeah, that's right: you don't care.

[ - ] breathecarolinafanGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Oh, IWYV, you know I'm glad that you're still here.

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Wow. Some car commercial just said "It's called my really big thing."

[ - ] deathtoelmoGood: 0Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

I just screamed shove it in harder. well maybe I didnt.. but I wish I had.

[ - ] I_Want_Your_VirginityGood: 0Bad: 21 year, 10 months ago

*shoves dick inside new post*

[ - ] x_scarlett_thepirate_xGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

hi, im a newbie, and i'm afraid i am lost. *tear*

[ - ] NotALlamaGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

me lost too

[ - ] lennGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

You friend is SO MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF AWESOME it's not even funny. Good on her!

[ - ] x_scarlett_thepirate_xGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

*looks confused* i might not be able to keep up with the confusion on this site.

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