MyLifeIsAverage

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 9Bad: 51 year, 10 months ago

Last week, I was out for lunch with my boyfriend. While reading the menu, my boyfriend takes his penis out and throws cum at me while saying, "You've just been jizzed on." I couldn't eat the rest of my meal without giggling. MLIJizzFilled

[ - ] IronFistGood: 1Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

It appears my wee wee has been stricken with rigamortas.lol jk

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

FG FTW

[ - ] darrenc101Good: 2Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Physical and sexual assault are both serious.

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 3Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

So's your face.

[ - ] darrenc101Good: 0Bad: 31 year, 10 months ago

Regardless. This is not a joke and certainly not funny.

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 3Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

If you take shit this seriously, you are on the wrong fucking website, so either get used to it, or GTFO.

[ - ] MobileGood: 4Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Today, I saw a commenter who couldn't take a joke. So I made up a story about how I kidnapped their mother and beat her while I fucked her mercilessly. She enjoyed it, so I couldn't call it rape. MLIA

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Thank you, Mobs.

[ - ] gahAnnA12Good: 1Bad: 31 year, 10 months ago

Nasty

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 4Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

That's what she said, when she saw your face.

[ - ] gahAnnA12Good: 1Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Ohhhh you are sooo original...seriously how many times are you gonna use that line on me?

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 2Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

As many times as is applicable. I thought you were leaving?

[ - ] gahAnnA12Good: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Hmm decided not to....but now I have to so bye! See ya another time!

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Have a horrible day!

[ - ] TheAmeansAVERAGEGood: 0Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Good for you.

[ - ] NonagonGood: 4Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Okay, I really want to make a joke about her boyfriend assaulting her with the salt shaker, but I don't know how to word it without it being WAY too obvious. >.>

[ - ] AstronautTinaGood: 1Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Sounds like you are in a pickle there.

[ - ] NonagonGood: 4Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Yep. Something along the lines of '...assaulted me with a salt shaker.....felt better than having sex with him......should try natural male enhancement....'

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 2Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

You could do like I did.

[ - ] NonagonGood: 0Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Hm....

[ - ] pandamanGood: 4Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

You could do it like they do on the discovery channel...

[ - ] TheAmeansAVERAGEGood: 7Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Last week, I was out for lunch with my boyfriend. MLIA

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 6Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Last week, I ate lunch. MLIA

[ - ] TheAmeansAVERAGEGood: 5Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Last week, I ate. MLIA

[ - ] MobileGood: 9Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I ate. MLIA

[ - ] TheAmeansAVERAGEGood: 5Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

You ate MLIA?!

[ - ] MobileGood: 9Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Crispy crunchy cliches with a glass of milk.

[ - ] So_not_normalGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

*munches* Delicious!

[ - ] darrenc101Good: 6Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Last week, eye eight. MLIA

[ - ] NonagonGood: 2Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Okay, time's up. I have to get back to my work. I'll see you guys next week, possibly.

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 1Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Bye Nonny!!!!!

[ - ] TheAmeansAVERAGEGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Mannnn, I gotta head off to math class now. See ya'll in 'bout.. 4 hours?

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Bye TAMA!

[ - ] PERFECTLYparGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

My dad used to do this really cheesy joke where he would put a salt shaker on top of a butter knife and say, "This is an armed assault." Somehow it wasn't so funny the 57th time...

[ - ] IronFistGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Rim shot.

[ - ] MobileGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Probably because he did it in a bank and 5 seconds later he was tasting his own blood with his face smashed against the ground.

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Ouchies.

[ - ] HeyHeyHeyitisMLIAGood: 2Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Comment.

[ - ] Text_on_the_screenGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Reply.

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

TOTS! *kerglomp* You beat me to it :(

[ - ] Text_on_the_screenGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I'm just talented like that I guess.

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I guess so!

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Reply

[ - ] MobileGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Bad.

[ - ] HeyHeyHeyitisMLIAGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I badded your face.

[ - ] AerodynamicGood: 4Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Your mum badded me.

[ - ] MobileGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

It took you.... 11 minutes to come up with THAT for a comeback?

[ - ] PERFECTLYparGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Your.... face.... took eleven minutes.... to come up with .... a.... comeback.... yea! *sits down*

[ - ] MobileGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

*pats head* Very good dear. Here's a cookie.

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I want a cookie too!

[ - ] LavenderPlantGood: 3Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Your name reminds me of some kind of disease.

[ - ] kkn0122Good: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Today, I bought new shoes. MLIA

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Ohhh, I <3 shoes. What kind?

[ - ] kkn0122Good: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I bought them from the Buckle. They are so damn cute. I'll show you hold on.

[ - ] kkn0122Good: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

http://www.buckle.com/product/product_detail.jsp?bmUID=1269009012680&prd=98160MUSTHAVE&sku=3433434150&N=43+27+268. Go look sooooooo cute!!

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

The sandal looking things? Very cute! And colorful!

[ - ] kkn0122Good: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I know!!! I am in shoe heaven right now.

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Lucky...I can't afford shopping right now...But I need some cute summer/spring shoes...

[ - ] kkn0122Good: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I am an impulse buyer I can't help it.

[ - ] SuperNinja1Good: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Whats the attraction in leaving pervert post?

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I will respond to this question when you pose it in a way that makes sense.

[ - ] SuperNinja1Good: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Whats the flippin' point? that good?

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

How does, 'for shits and giggles' grab ya?

[ - ] MobileGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

*grabs cojones* Right here. In an upward, twisting mannter.

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Oh, sorry Mobs.

[ - ] kkn0122Good: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

It's fun. If you don't like it go away. Plain and simple.

[ - ] IronFistGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Once there was a man from peru.....once.

[ - ] HeyHeyHeyitisMLIAGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

And then OP got to him, poor man, he never had a chance.

[ - ] IronFistGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Lol.

[ - ] twitchy_fingersGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Nitrous oxide, anyone?

[ - ] CaptainAndyGood: 0Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Ima get high as a mothurfucka.

[ - ] kkn0122Good: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

*hands beer* Heya!

[ - ] CaptainAndyGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Hello darling. *drinks*

[ - ] SuperNinja1Good: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Red bull sounds good...

[ - ] IronFistGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

SPY!!!!

[ - ] IronFistGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Anyone wanna play hang man?

[ - ] MehMeisterGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I DOOO!!!

[ - ] IronFistGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

*grabs noose* okay we need a volunteer to wear the rope while you guess.

[ - ] LavenderPlantGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

*raises hand* I...I'll do it.

[ - ] LavenderPlantGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Yes!

[ - ] Text_on_the_screenGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I nearly said "What the Circafan" to my brother last night.

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

HE would have been like, "what the fuck are you talking about?" Unless he reads MLIA comments too, in which case he would have been like, "OMG, YOU READ THEM TOO?!" Best. Brother. Ever.

[ - ] Text_on_the_screenGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

He would have no clue what I was saying. And no, he doesn't read the comments. He thinks the stories are true.

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

This makes me sad...

[ - ] Text_on_the_screenGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Yes. It's disturbing.

[ - ] PERFECTLYparGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I tried to Bad what someone said at school the other day...

[ - ] So_not_normalGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Just say "Fut the Whuck!" It's amusing...

[ - ] IronFistGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

o<-<

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

<:)))))><

[ - ] So_not_normalGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

o<-I-< *kills*

[ - ] PERFECTLYparGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

<<o<-I-< *sets on fire*

[ - ] pandamanGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

8====D

[ - ] IronFistGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Gtg.

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Bye!

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

*yawns* BORING.....

[ - ] prophetGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

New post.

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 31 year, 10 months ago

*yawns* BORING.....

[ - ] KGHeroGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I hate you, double post. I hope you rot in hell.

[ - ] Text_on_the_screenGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I hate this post so much. It's time for a new one.

[ - ] awkwardturtle3Good: 0Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

don't kid about assault. it is not worth giggling for. assault is not good. not good.

[ - ] whosoeverGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I dunno if anyone else has said this yet, but . . . next time you'd better be more PEPPEARED!

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