MyLifeIsAverage

[ - ] zalanGood: 63Bad: 82 years, 8 months ago

oh and MLIA. my bad

[ - ] LOL-LinkGood: 9Bad: 2542 years, 3 months ago

(412): he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. (570): I sure am glad they found that kid in the balloon. For a minute there, I thought Michael Jackson ordered takeout from Heaven. (773): Dude i'm not sure who's apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal... (941): he just tapped out the beginning of the Mario theme song on my stomach. When I asked if thats what it was, he proposed. (MDT): http://mydrunktexts.com/ - For those of you who turn into prolific and inappropriate texters after a few drinks, be warned: your SMS ramblings may end up as someone elses entertainment online. ------>>> http://mydrunktexts.com/

[ - ] UnusedCarpetGood: 2Bad: 41 year, 11 months ago

really?

[ - ] narto928Good: 1Bad: 31 year, 10 months ago

Penguin attacked by gangsters.

[ - ] Xactor201Good: 3Bad: 1402 years, 3 months ago

Get free iTunes gift card codes and certificates. http://www.freegc.com/ free itunes card, free itunes cards, free itunes gift card, free itunes gift card codes, free itunes gift cards, how to get free itunes gift card codes, how to get free itunes gift cards, iPod, ipod touch, itunes

[ - ] hammertym3Good: 16Bad: 22 years, 1 month ago

First comment of the best MLIA of the year. Well played.

[ - ] winbinGood: 5Bad: 31 year, 11 months ago

first (non-spam) comment on the first comment of the best MLIA of the year.

[ - ] mdl1689Good: 67Bad: 92 years, 8 months ago

demetri martin rip-off, get your own material

[ - ] ToasterManGood: 19Bad: 52 years, 3 months ago

I noticed that as well...

[ - ] stephaniesunshineGood: 8Bad: 32 years, 1 month ago

ditto.

[ - ] ILoveMDGood: 3Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

Me too.

[ - ] TinyPandaGood: 0Bad: 21 year, 8 months ago

Doesn't matter. It was funny. Lay off.

[ - ] average_personGood: 0Bad: 21 year, 11 months ago

touche, i was just about to say that

[ - ] PhantomModeGood: 0Bad: 11 year, 11 months ago

hes a lame-o

[ - ] brieg91Good: 6Bad: 822 years, 8 months ago

i

[ - ] LangolierGood: 0Bad: 21 year, 9 months ago

u

[ - ] EdlittleGood: 16Bad: 32 years, 8 months ago

yes demetri martin

[ - ] shOOt2iLL54Good: 94Bad: 12 years, 8 months ago

"I'm gonna open a store and call it Chasm. It's gonna be just like the Gap but WAY bigger."

[ - ] SCMAX101Good: 30Bad: 22 years, 8 months ago

You are not Demetri Martin

[ - ] which1spink9Good: 51Bad: 12 years, 4 months ago

Or is he? *myserious eyebrow raise*

[ - ] jaspersevilpixie14Good: 4Bad: 22 years ago

you will never know

[ - ] wubbthe1Good: 0Bad: 31 year, 11 months ago

LOLOLOL

[ - ] RoboticFrescaGood: 14Bad: 302 years, 8 months ago

no one on the internet, or on life, is origional anymore

[ - ] avergeGood: 1Bad: 372 years, 8 months ago

Dane Cook did the same thing its cool

[ - ] trillian42Good: 15Bad: 32 years, 5 months ago

there's nothing cool about stealing jokes. but Dane Cook did indeed steal from Demetri Martin, among other comedians.

[ - ] colcolGood: 5Bad: 32 years, 3 months ago

only cuz he stole it from demetri martin

[ - ] MushedstuffroomsGood: 7Bad: 262 years, 8 months ago

OMG I LoVE YOU I THiNK !!

[ - ] RandomNigelGood: 6Bad: 22 years, 8 months ago

Yea Dmitri Martin.

[ - ] teletubbiesGood: 5Bad: 192 years, 1 month ago

Who the hell is Dmitri Martin? ;/

[ - ] zalanGood: 9Bad: 232 years, 8 months ago

[ - ] trillian42Good: 15Bad: 02 years, 5 months ago

the joke is I like when good things happen to me, but I wait two weeks to tell anyone because I like to use the word fortnight.

[ - ] umass1234Good: 16Bad: 22 years, 8 months ago

your life is average because you have to steal jokes from Demetri Martin. Look up 'Personal Information Waltz' on youtube.

[ - ] scrabblemvpGood: 4Bad: 02 years, 2 months ago

I was totally thinking the same thing! I love Demetri Martin!

[ - ] TinyPandaGood: 0Bad: 11 year, 8 months ago

Your life is average because you spend way too much time being a prick and nit-picking at people's posts. Look up "A life" on Amazon.

[ - ] iHeartTwilightGood: 4Bad: 02 years, 8 months ago

Hahahahah I love Demerti Martin...too bad his show "Important Things" is gone now =[

[ - ] goofygirlGood: 11Bad: 02 years, 5 months ago

But it's coming back! The world may continue!

[ - ] ILoveMDGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

It's back now. All new season.

[ - ] charlieeehGood: 10Bad: 02 years, 8 months ago

I'd "Average" Demetri Martin. Stealing jokes is lame. Sorry.

[ - ] jainaandkatyGood: 9Bad: 32 years, 7 months ago

i dont know who demetri martin is but i laughed pretty hard at this.

[ - ] RachelTeeGood: 7Bad: 22 years, 2 months ago

Yeah, same here. I've never heard of this Demetri guy, but I definitely laughed at this post and wished I was the OP. Maybe he wasn't even aware that he was "stealing" the joke. He may have had the same thought as Demitri....

[ - ] BeastitUpGood: 7Bad: 22 years, 1 month ago

This is completely ripped off....but it is possible the he had the same thought as demetri after watching his stand up

[ - ] allylovesbrodyGood: 4Bad: 32 years, 7 months ago

lol, funny!

[ - ] MaverickTacoGood: 7Bad: 02 years, 7 months ago

Don't steal from peoples comedy...

[ - ] laxmikeGood: 15Bad: 22 years, 7 months ago

as long as u actually did the rubiks cube im fine wid u stealin average jokes

[ - ] specialk10Good: 6Bad: 12 years, 5 months ago

agreed

[ - ] zalanGood: 4Bad: 52 years, 3 months ago

i really did solve it. and i can solve rubiks revenge, unless there is parity, then i just give up...

[ - ] kenne4Good: 5Bad: 22 years, 6 months ago

You ae not Demetri Martin, write your own jokes.

[ - ] pokecalebGood: 7Bad: 22 years, 5 months ago

Now I actually know how long a fortnight is! I have always been too lazy to look it up, though I constantly read books that use it.

[ - ] andieb123Good: 4Bad: 12 years, 5 months ago

ME TOO.

[ - ] spaznmkGood: 7Bad: 12 years, 5 months ago

me and my best friend have vocab high fives because we are that cool. and she is sitting next to me right now. and we both think you deserve one. you should be proud. we dont let anyone else in but us two.

[ - ] zalanGood: 2Bad: 72 years, 3 months ago

i feel so honored. thank you

[ - ] redhedbedhedGood: 9Bad: 22 years, 5 months ago

there were just 8999 "Average"s i made it 9000 huzzah

[ - ] BonJovi821Good: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about this post's average level?" "IT'S...... still not over 9,000." "...WHAT!? STILL NOT OVER 9,000?!"

[ - ] andieb123Good: 1Bad: 62 years, 5 months ago

YOU ARE SO COOL!

[ - ] petero9Good: 1Bad: 92 years, 5 months ago

You didn't end it with MLIA. your life isn't average.

[ - ] floodster77Good: 8Bad: 22 years, 5 months ago

hahaha. the other day i looked at a rubix cube, picked it up, and then put it down realizing i couldn't solve it. MLIA

[ - ] missallissGood: 9Bad: 12 years, 5 months ago

DEMETRI MARTIN COPIER!!!

[ - ] ignolaGood: 2Bad: 32 years, 5 months ago

I'm not Demtri Martin. I didn't steal jokes. This comment was lameeee.

[ - ] alaizabelleGood: 0Bad: 52 years, 5 months ago

i love you. dear god. will you marry me. plz?

[ - ] zalanGood: 1Bad: 82 years, 3 months ago

if you still check out this posting....the answer is yes =)

[ - ] flowerchild11Good: 0Bad: 32 years, 5 months ago

No way! You solved it? I spent my entire labor day weekend trying to solve one. Turns out, the answers are all online.

[ - ] MyLifelsAverageGood: 25Bad: 12 years, 4 months ago

You forgot to end with "MLIA" you silly willy.

[ - ] PeachesGGood: 5Bad: 12 years, 4 months ago

Why oh why didn't you build a fort a fortnight ago instead?

[ - ] SwimchiliGood: 5Bad: 02 years, 4 months ago

DEMETRI!!!!!!! im glad you guys are on the same page as me!

[ - ] 0n-F1r3-4-g0dGood: 0Bad: 52 years, 4 months ago

I LOVE YOU. I haven't laughed this hard at any other MLIA's. Ever.

[ - ] BananaSomethingGood: 4Bad: 72 years, 4 months ago

i dont even know but I LOVE YOU FOR THIS. MLIA beats fml. But its incredibly annoying when people end their. Posts. Like. This.

[ - ] missmaggy2uGood: 6Bad: 12 years, 4 months ago

This is a Demetri Martin joke

[ - ] 2pointohGPAGood: 17Bad: 02 years, 4 months ago

At least you didn't fall down an escalator for an hour and a half.

[ - ] celestualstarGood: 7Bad: 02 years, 3 months ago

i laughed harder at this then i did at the post

[ - ] SuperGiuseppeGGood: 0Bad: 22 years, 4 months ago

YES! AWESOME POST

[ - ] inyourface14Good: 0Bad: 32 years, 4 months ago

i thought this was pretty funny!

[ - ] Anonymous1994Good: 9Bad: 62 years, 4 months ago

why does everyone get pissed off cause he "stole" a joke from dimitri martain how do you "steel" a phrase?

[ - ] mollyhadGood: 7Bad: 02 years, 4 months ago

Have you heard of plagiarism? How would you define that? Because I would say that that is stealing someone's idea without their permission. Or without giving them credit for it. I'm not saying that applies to MLIA.com, but that would be stealing a phrase. And FYI, STEEL is a kind of metal. You STEAL someone else's joke.

[ - ] Subway4LunchGood: 8Bad: 12 years, 3 months ago

STEEL is an alloy of more than one type of metal, correcting-person.

[ - ] averageavesGood: 0Bad: 22 years, 4 months ago

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard at an MLIA before... that is really freaking funny. I don't even know why I find it so hilarious.

[ - ] keylimeguyGood: 5Bad: 12 years, 4 months ago

:o You stole from Demetri Martin. We can never...EVER be friends now.

[ - ] crikeybrikeyGood: 3Bad: 12 years, 4 months ago

oh no, how will he ever go on?

[ - ] zalanGood: 2Bad: 42 years, 3 months ago

im crying at the moment. you completely shattered my weekend....not.

[ - ] BeastitUpGood: 2Bad: 52 years, 1 month ago

you are a fag

[ - ] averageorangefrogGood: 10Bad: 02 years, 4 months ago

Unless you are demetri martin... you've stolen a joke from the most average comedian i know. and now i must eat all of your cookies. FOREVER.

[ - ] LaurenRitoGood: 5Bad: 92 years, 3 months ago

you epic fail

[ - ] Jambis2011Good: 2Bad: 22 years, 3 months ago

*thumbs up* nicely done.

[ - ] ilovelink-zeldaGood: 4Bad: 12 years, 3 months ago

ohhhh!! i am attempting to complete a rubiks cube.

[ - ] AidenRienheartGood: 2Bad: 32 years, 3 months ago

EPIC WIN, my friend!

[ - ] monkeystealsthepeachGood: 2Bad: 32 years, 3 months ago

I like this no matter who said it first.

[ - ] phoebala1207Good: 2Bad: 32 years, 3 months ago

ahh i was wondering what this meant!! it is used in Harry Potter alll the time..

[ - ] meiishaGood: 3Bad: 32 years, 3 months ago

i just like this because you used the word fort night

[ - ] IamaninjaQKGood: 1Bad: 22 years, 3 months ago

Well played, my friend, well played.

[ - ] dannyman415Good: 7Bad: 22 years, 3 months ago

I was going to rip on you for stealing a Demetri Martin joke, but I see we've got that pretty much covered.

[ - ] soniaalvarezGood: 4Bad: 12 years, 3 months ago

Demetri Martin! It's nice to know that other people know he exists.

[ - ] megjames5910Good: 1Bad: 02 years, 3 months ago

WAHHH.

[ - ] Subway4LunchGood: 9Bad: 12 years, 3 months ago

Well, I'm glad to know I'm not the only Demetri Martin policeman out there.

[ - ] thatoneshortgirlGood: 2Bad: 32 years, 3 months ago

this is my favorite. ever. :D

[ - ] llamalover43Good: 2Bad: 22 years, 3 months ago

YOU ARE MY HERO.(:

[ - ] inteseGood: 2Bad: 32 years, 3 months ago

may i marry you?

[ - ] zalanGood: 3Bad: 62 years, 3 months ago

someone else has previously asked. but you can be the runner up, or i can start a harem...i like the latter idea best.

[ - ] HalfaSpoonGood: 4Bad: 02 years, 3 months ago

Demetri Martin is my fav comedian, sooo there.

[ - ] lumberjackmenGood: 4Bad: 82 years, 3 months ago

i cant believe someone is dumb enought to steal a widely known comedians material & post it on a widely known website.

[ - ] oddishdogGood: 0Bad: 62 years, 3 months ago

whats a fortnight? -cs

[ - ] emily2039Good: 2Bad: 32 years, 3 months ago

idiot.... how do u not know what a fortnight is

[ - ] spotsonapplesGood: 5Bad: 02 years, 2 months ago

Demetri Martin is my hero.

[ - ] pillowmatGood: 4Bad: 32 years, 2 months ago

screw you sir. im gonna 'meh' you so many times that your head will spin. GO DEMETRI

[ - ] bethmwalkerGood: 7Bad: 02 years, 2 months ago

Should Demetri be sad that people are stealing his work, or proud that people like his work enough to be stealing it? Haha. I love Demetri Martin.

[ - ] losercommatheGood: 0Bad: 12 years, 2 months ago

Haha, that is pretty wicked.

[ - ] ManziRulezGood: 2Bad: 02 years, 2 months ago

haha fortnight

[ - ] ErrahtikGood: 2Bad: 32 years, 2 months ago

Way to rip off Dimitri Martin.

[ - ] justlittlebeefGood: 0Bad: 12 years, 2 months ago

love that word

[ - ] MageorehGood: 0Bad: 92 years, 1 month ago

http://www.ihatestacy.com/index.php?id=3e3ed08968642a222604c8806878d72a

[ - ] irapehellokittyGood: 0Bad: 12 years, 1 month ago

LOL. It took me a while to read this MLIA because I needed to stare at the word fortnight in awe a while before I could continue (becuase I hadn't heard it before, but it's my new fave word). I UNDERSTAND YOU. I UNDERSTAND.

[ - ] milagirlGood: 1Bad: 12 years, 1 month ago

Fortnight is awesome! FORTNIGHT!

[ - ] NotPumpkinGood: 0Bad: 32 years, 1 month ago

I don't think I understand... why is everyone so amazed about the word 'fortnight'?

[ - ] mara1313Good: 0Bad: 12 years, 1 month ago

LOL. Fornight. New favourite word? I think so.

[ - ] GaarasGourdGood: 1Bad: 12 years, 1 month ago

http://mylifeisaverage.com/s/491767

[ - ] theironyfairyGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

I am in love with your username. Even if you did spam....

[ - ] kuwlioGood: 1Bad: 12 years, 1 month ago

Demetri Martin, Tsk Tsk

[ - ] yknotbaverageGood: 1Bad: 12 years, 1 month ago

you don't use "Fortnight" before ago. lol. average. :] but it's funny

[ - ] BeastitUpGood: 5Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago

See i dont blame you for ripping off demetri martins stand up...hes a really funny dude but what bugs me is you have yet to admit you stole it and your trying to pass it as your own

[ - ] hellomyladyGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 7 months ago

i agree

[ - ] LilyAndJamesAreForeverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago

I'd do something like that.

[ - ] thkevinleeGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

AWESOME!

[ - ] burnsGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

Now I know what a fortnight is. Thanks!

[ - ] mobsharksGood: 0Bad: 22 years ago

how do you know who wrote the story

[ - ] buttfuckerGood: 2Bad: 72 years ago

fuck you bitch yeah pink ponies bitch yeah I LOVE BIG BOOBS BITCH YEAcock noob suck up asshole

[ - ] bballbraceface33Good: 2Bad: 02 years ago

comment 111

[ - ] Gamer0309Good: 1Bad: 02 years ago

Comment 112

[ - ] caramazingGood: 1Bad: 02 years ago

http://mylifeisaverage.com/s/1464037

[ - ] BMTH_foreverGood: 0Bad: 02 years ago

i marked it average so it would be all 5's =]

[ - ] SwitchfootohGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 12 months ago

LOL

[ - ] cowboyfanGood: 0Bad: 21 year, 12 months ago

i voted this to be a MLIA

[ - ] lupidialGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 11 months ago

so what was demetri's joke???

[ - ] joker777Good: 0Bad: 01 year, 11 months ago

haha nice

[ - ] idaknoGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 11 months ago

Fortnight is an awesome word!

[ - ] jackh4591Good: 0Bad: 31 year, 10 months ago

i dont get it

[ - ] wobbuffettGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

u phail

[ - ] madisonsheaGood: 1Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

Whoever posted this story, I love you, and if you're a guy, I fully intend on marrying you.

[ - ] zalanGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 9 months ago

that's a lie. but yeah, im a guy

[ - ] OreogasmGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I know a Demetri Martin joke a mile away, phayl

[ - ] ILoveMDGood: 3Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

I don't think there are enough comments informing us that this is a Demetri Martin joke.

[ - ] zalanGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 9 months ago

seriously. dam.

[ - ] hellomyladyGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 7 months ago

why dont you admit you stole it then?

[ - ] potatoesobrienGood: 2Bad: 01 year, 10 months ago

why do people accuse this person of stealing demitris joke?there is a difference between a stolen joke and a reference to someone elses joke. this is obviously just a reference

[ - ] ninjalover123Good: 0Bad: 21 year, 10 months ago

i love the word fortnight

[ - ] ninjalover123Good: 0Bad: 21 year, 10 months ago

and ninjas.

[ - ] surrahGood: 0Bad: 11 year, 10 months ago

that is like my favorite word ever now

[ - ] bobsmith93Good: 1Bad: 01 year, 9 months ago

Holy shit, I was listening to Demetri Martin when i read this lol. Weird...

[ - ] sazurachiiGood: 1Bad: 01 year, 9 months ago

Here I come to save the dayyyyy!

[ - ] SpollockGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 9 months ago

It still is really funny. Congratz on the rubiks cube, hon!

[ - ] zalanGood: 2Bad: 11 year, 9 months ago

ok. yes i know who DM is. yes i have heard that joke. it did inspire this post. but the story is true, thus the reason i posted it. can we stop with the completely unnecessary amount of posts saying i stole it from him? get a life kids.

[ - ] ultratwister97Good: 0Bad: 01 year, 9 months ago

Im just really confused wat doue MEH mean?

[ - ] jaxxie23Good: 0Bad: 01 year, 8 months ago

MEH meens that its bad, i think and Average meens its good, i think, some1 back me up on tht, plzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ - ] kiwi456Good: 0Bad: 01 year, 8 months ago

love it! i like the word fortnight too!

[ - ] hinkageGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 8 months ago

bump

[ - ] TinyPandaGood: 0Bad: 01 year, 8 months ago

I freaking love you.

Official links