MyLifeIsAverage

Life is pretty normal today.
Today, I was walking with my cousin, it was dark out. A car came up and someone said "Do you girls need a ride?" I politely said no without looking at the person, and the car drove off. I then got a text from my dad and it said I've taught you well darling. He was the guy in car. I love my dad. MLIA
#521844 Comments: 94 Vote: average 7683meh 494Share 
[ - ]  MaraMelonGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
/ew
 
[ - ]  PervertGood: 2Bad: 22 years, 1 month ago
Ew your penis.
 
[ - ]  digitalboredomGood: 9Bad: 22 years, 1 month ago
Today, I was walking home with my cousin. These hot guys pulled up in a car. They offered us money for sex. It was the most money I've made all year. I'm not a whore, don't judge me. MLIA
 
[ - ]  howxprofoundGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
I'm judging you. 8.8
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Hoe.
 
[ - ]  digitalboredomGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Skank.
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Slut.
 
[ - ]  Squid_surferGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Hooker.
 
[ - ]  icancounttoteninjapaneseGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Whore.
 
[ - ]  hippo_campusGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Mythical Creature
 
[ - ]  OMGHaxorzGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
PenisForHirePerson.
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Gigolo.
 
[ - ]  rjrudmanGood: 0Bad: 52 years, 1 month ago
Shut the fuck up.
 
[ - ]  digitalboredomGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
That was not very nice of you.
 
[ - ]  ClicheScale1to10Good: 4Bad: 22 years, 1 month ago
Today, my dad asked me if I wanted to go for a ride with my cousin. I politely said no. However, he said "come on, darling - I taught you better than that." I agreed and continued to have an epic cousin-dad threeway. Also, the guy in the car joined in. Our faces were priceless. MLIA.
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 4Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Not continued, proceeded.
 
[ - ]  ClicheScale1to10Good: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
my bad.
 
[ - ]  icancounttoteninjapaneseGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
A police car once asked me if I needed a ride...
 
[ - ]  superrhumanGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Dodgy...
 
[ - ]  howxprofoundGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Are you Australian?
 
[ - ]  superrhumanGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
New Zealander, actually. Why?
 
[ - ]  howxprofoundGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Because when I was at a homestay in NZ, someone used that term, but they said in their accent so I couldn't really understand. But then I got it. It means shady.
 
[ - ]  superrhumanGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Oh how interesting. I thought it was used universally. :/ Huh...
 
[ - ]  howxprofoundGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
YOU KIWI. Sorry, had to say it :)
 
[ - ]  icancounttoteninjapaneseGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
I thought it was too
 
[ - ]  Alaska95Good: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Don't worry it is used often,
 
[ - ]  icancounttoteninjapaneseGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
I think it's cause I live in a small town where police aren't needed but I still didn't get in the car..
 
[ - ]  crazeeGood: 2Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
a CAR asked you if you needed a ride?!?! Where are these talking cars and how can I find them?!?!
 
[ - ]  howxprofoundGood: 4Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
All I saw was "I got a ride from my dad" That must've been some ride...
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Lasted all night.
 
[ - ]  ClicheScale1to10Good: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
9
 
[ - ]  TheScareCrowGood: 4Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Happy New Years, Bikini Bottom!
 
[ - ]  ZombiesInMyBellieButtonGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Happy New Years, Fairy World!
 
[ - ]  TheScareCrowGood: 2Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Happy New Years, China! (Wait...)
 
[ - ]  ZombiesInMyBellieButtonGood: 0Bad: 22 years, 1 month ago
Lets stay with fictional worlds, kay?
 
[ - ]  RyanisawesomeGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
China is fictional, isn't it?
 
[ - ]  TheScareCrowGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
China's real?!?
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Happy New Years, Underworld!
 
[ - ]  crazeeGood: 2Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Happy New Years, Middle Earth!
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
I love your dad...
 
[ - ]  superrhumanGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
You should give him a ride to show your appreciation.
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
It was hot.
 
[ - ]  TheUnfortunateFlowerGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Undercover! <3
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
HI WFE!!!!!!1111
 
[ - ]  TheUnfortunateFlowerGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
x_x Cheese hater. >B(
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
:( I'm sorry, it's not my fault. I wish I could like cheese...
 
[ - ]  TheUnfortunateFlowerGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
<3 Everyone is different :D
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
<3 We need to spread the love!
 
[ - ]  TheUnfortunateFlowerGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
<3 Yes we do! <3
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Chi!!!
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
OTTO ih!
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Uoy evol I!
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Erom ouy evol I!
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
You better, you don't have a choice in the matter.
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Infinity + 1 OH SHNAP!
 
[ - ]  NCISGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
my dad did that to me once
 
[ - ]  icancounttoteninjapaneseGood: 0Bad: 12 years, 1 month ago
OMF I LOVE YOUR USERNAME!
 
[ - ]  TheUnfortunateFlowerGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
OMF, I LOVE YOUR MUM!
 
[ - ]  icancounttoteninjapaneseGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
OMF, THAT'S NASTY!
 
[ - ]  TheScareCrowGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Your mum's nasty?
 
[ - ]  icancounttoteninjapaneseGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Well, I think so..she just had a child...people usually aren't incredibly attractive after that.
 
[ - ]  MobileGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Today, I was walking the streets with my cousin. A car pulled up and asked how much for the two of us. I leaned in to tell him the price; it was my dad. I don't think he loves me anymore.
 
[ - ]  MobileGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
MLIProstitution
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
GROSS!!! XD
 
[ - ]  TheUnfortunateFlowerGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
That's gotta be a hard life. o-o
 
[ - ]  icancounttoteninjapaneseGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
MLI...?
 
[ - ]  icancounttoteninjapaneseGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
nevermind
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Just FML.
 
[ - ]  icancounttoteninjapaneseGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
AHA I see.
 
[ - ]  TheScareCrowGood: 4Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
I'm just wondering why he texted you that he taught you well. Why didn't he tell you it was him once you declined wihout looking? Why'd he make you walk back home in the dark when he could have picked you up anyway?
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 4Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
He had to go pick up a hooker.
 
[ - ]  TheScareCrowGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Oh, that was so obvious! I guess I'm just oblivious sometimes...
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Don't worry, so am I.
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
But then why'd he offer a ride in the first place? o.O
 
[ - ]  superrhumanGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
THREESOME.
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Maybe he thought his daughter was a lesbian, and thought they could have a threesome.
 
[ - ]  hippo_campusGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
He thought they were his hookers.
 
[ - ]  hippo_campusGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
A more reasonable explanation: OP really is a hooker, there was just a terrible mix up. To avoid further embarrassment, Dad just drove off.
 
[ - ]  WhyReadMeGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
I was thinking the same thing. What happens if a creeper came out to get her because he didn't pick her up?
 
[ - ]  TheScareCrowGood: 2Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Then he posts this on MLIA with some cliche about irony.
 
[ - ]  1337413xGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
PIE
 
[ - ]  ObliviousToTheObviousGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
CAKE!
 
[ - ]  TheUnfortunateFlowerGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
BAKE!
 
[ - ]  icancounttoteninjapaneseGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Is good, unless it's not.
 
[ - ]  TheUnfortunateFlowerGood: 3Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Jane Doe, I don't think I know ya' but I know for sure, that you are beautiful. So, baby let me know your name. Damn, whats her name? <3
 
[ - ]  RyanisawesomeGood: 1Bad: 12 years, 1 month ago
Anybody still watching that new years special thing? Man Selena Gomez was workin' them ho heels.
 
[ - ]  RyanisawesomeGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Today, my dad pretended to be a pedophile. Turns out he wasn't pretending.MLIA
 
[ - ]  PunGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Awww...can you walk now without it hurting?
 
[ - ]  RyanisawesomeGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
No. My penis feels like its about to fall off.
 
[ - ]  icancounttoteninjapaneseGood: 0Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Ummmm.....
 
[ - ]  UndercoverGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Today, I was pretending to be a hooker with my cousin. Turns out my dad took it seriously. MLIA
 
[ - ]  PunGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
were you touched, son?
 
[ - ]  crazeeGood: 1Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
The last line in this MLIA was kind of... unnecessary. :(
 
[ - ]  HavokaGood: 2Bad: 02 years, 1 month ago
Yeah, it's called a cliche. Your immune system will gradually build an immunity to them, but the first few exposures can be rough. Good luck.
 

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