Today, I was walking with my cousin, it was dark out. A car came up and someone said "Do you girls need a ride?" I politely said no without looking at the person, and the car drove off. I then got a text from my dad and it said I've taught you well darling. He was the guy in car. I love my dad. MLIA
/ew
Ew your penis.
Today, I was walking home with my cousin. These hot guys pulled up in a car. They offered us money for sex. It was the most money I've made all year. I'm not a whore, don't judge me. MLIA
I'm judging you. 8.8
Hoe.
Skank.
Slut.
Hooker.
Whore.
Mythical Creature
PenisForHirePerson.
Gigolo.
That was not very nice of you.
Today, my dad asked me if I wanted to go for a ride with my cousin. I politely said no. However, he said "come on, darling - I taught you better than that." I agreed and continued to have an epic cousin-dad threeway. Also, the guy in the car joined in. Our faces were priceless. MLIA.
Not continued, proceeded.
my bad.
A police car once asked me if I needed a ride...
Dodgy...
Are you Australian?
New Zealander, actually. Why?
Because when I was at a homestay in NZ, someone used that term, but they said in their accent so I couldn't really understand. But then I got it. It means shady.
Oh how interesting. I thought it was used universally. :/ Huh...
YOU KIWI. Sorry, had to say it :)
I thought it was too
Don't worry it is used often,
I think it's cause I live in a small town where police aren't needed but I still didn't get in the car..
a CAR asked you if you needed a ride?!?! Where are these talking cars and how can I find them?!?!
All I saw was "I got a ride from my dad" That must've been some ride...
Lasted all night.
9
Happy New Years, Bikini Bottom!
Happy New Years, Fairy World!
Happy New Years, China! (Wait...)
Lets stay with fictional worlds, kay?
China is fictional, isn't it?
China's real?!?
Happy New Years, Underworld!
Happy New Years, Middle Earth!
I love your dad...
You should give him a ride to show your appreciation.
It was hot.
Undercover! <3
HI WFE!!!!!!1111
x_x Cheese hater. >B(
:( I'm sorry, it's not my fault. I wish I could like cheese...
<3 Everyone is different :D
<3 We need to spread the love!
<3 Yes we do! <3
Chi!!!
OTTO ih!
Uoy evol I!
Erom ouy evol I!
You better, you don't have a choice in the matter.
Infinity + 1 OH SHNAP!
my dad did that to me once
OMF I LOVE YOUR USERNAME!
OMF, I LOVE YOUR MUM!
OMF, THAT'S NASTY!
Your mum's nasty?
Well, I think so..she just had a child...people usually aren't incredibly attractive after that.
Today, I was walking the streets with my cousin. A car pulled up and asked how much for the two of us. I leaned in to tell him the price; it was my dad. I don't think he loves me anymore.
MLIProstitution
GROSS!!! XD
That's gotta be a hard life. o-o
MLI...?
nevermind
Just FML.
AHA I see.
I'm just wondering why he texted you that he taught you well. Why didn't he tell you it was him once you declined wihout looking? Why'd he make you walk back home in the dark when he could have picked you up anyway?
He had to go pick up a hooker.
Oh, that was so obvious! I guess I'm just oblivious sometimes...
Don't worry, so am I.
But then why'd he offer a ride in the first place? o.O
THREESOME.
Maybe he thought his daughter was a lesbian, and thought they could have a threesome.
He thought they were his hookers.
A more reasonable explanation: OP really is a hooker, there was just a terrible mix up. To avoid further embarrassment, Dad just drove off.
I was thinking the same thing. What happens if a creeper came out to get her because he didn't pick her up?
Then he posts this on MLIA with some cliche about irony.
PIE
CAKE!
BAKE!
Is good, unless it's not.
Jane Doe, I don't think I know ya' but I know for sure, that you are beautiful. So, baby let me know your name. Damn, whats her name? <3
Anybody still watching that new years special thing? Man Selena Gomez was workin' them ho heels.
Today, my dad pretended to be a pedophile. Turns out he wasn't pretending.MLIA
Awww...can you walk now without it hurting?
No. My penis feels like its about to fall off.
Ummmm.....
Today, I was pretending to be a hooker with my cousin. Turns out my dad took it seriously. MLIA
were you touched, son?
The last line in this MLIA was kind of... unnecessary. :(
Yeah, it's called a cliche. Your immune system will gradually build an immunity to them, but the first few exposures can be rough. Good luck.
Official links
March's proceeds will also go toward building that well. See our progress below - updated 2/23
58%