Best of This Year
Today in Cosco my friend hid behind the sheds and tried to scare a little boy by jumping out and yelling 'Boo!' The boy who looked no older than 5 or 6 then retorted 'Someday you'll clean the pool in my mansion' and walked away licking his ice cream. MLIA
Today, I saw a very large man driving a very small car. Behind him was a very large truck being driven by a very small man. MLIA
Today, I noticed that the stories here were getting more average. This made me happy. Then I made a sandwich. MLIA.
Today, I shaved my legs to the Armageddon film score. It was epic. MLIA
Today my three year-old niece wanted to play "Hide and Go and Seek" as she calls it, and every time I went to go look for her and took too long she would come running out of her hiding spot saying she was "Right here, silly."
Today, I woke up and I did not feel like P. Diddy. MLIA
Today, while I was sleeping, I had this dream. I found colorless Waldo in my coloring book. I wanted to color him, but he run away and I started to chase him with a paint brush in my hand. My dreams are average.
Today, I was driving my Grandma to lunch with my family. While I was driving she told me to slow down, because she once got a ticket on the road we were on in 1973. MLIA
Today, my cat squeezed my finger with her paw, I squeezed back so she did it again. I feel like we've come to an understanding. MLIA
It was the end of hot yoga class and we were doing our final meditation. I was blissfully relaxed and musing on a mental image of the beautiful Benedict Cumberbatch. The instructor said, "Just try to focus on your breath - if any thoughts enter your mind just let them pass over you like a cloud." I thought of a cloud in the shape of Benedict Cumberbatch. He said hello in a sinister baritone. I snickered and disrupted everyone around me. MLIA.