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Best of This Year

Today in Cosco my friend hid behind the sheds and tried to scare a little boy by jumping out and yelling 'Boo!' The boy who looked no older than 5 or 6 then retorted 'Someday you'll clean the pool in my mansion' and walked away licking his ice cream. MLIA
#3360972 Comments: 50 Vote: average 167471meh 39627Share 
Today, I saw a very large man driving a very small car. Behind him was a very large truck being driven by a very small man. MLIA
#3362347 Comments: 12 Vote: average 14831meh 4549Share 
Today, I noticed that the stories here were getting more average. This made me happy. Then I made a sandwich. MLIA.
#3361809 Comments: 33 Vote: average 13884meh 9035Share 
Today, I shaved my legs to the Armageddon film score. It was epic. MLIA
#3362084 Comments: 1027 Vote: average 12333meh 7056Share 
Today my three year-old niece wanted to play "Hide and Go and Seek" as she calls it, and every time I went to go look for her and took too long she would come running out of her hiding spot saying she was "Right here, silly."
#3362376 Comments: 311 Vote: average 8520meh 9545Share 
Today, I woke up and I did not feel like P. Diddy. MLIA
#3360983 Comments: 18 Vote: average 7172meh 22Share 
Today, while I was sleeping, I had this dream. I found colorless Waldo in my coloring book. I wanted to color him, but he run away and I started to chase him with a paint brush in my hand. My dreams are average.
#3360603 Comments: 45 Vote: average 6637meh 526Share 
Today, I was driving my Grandma to lunch with my family. While I was driving she told me to slow down, because she once got a ticket on the road we were on in 1973. MLIA
#3361992 Comments: 18 Vote: average 6575meh 4Share 
Today, my cat squeezed my finger with her paw, I squeezed back so she did it again. I feel like we've come to an understanding. MLIA
#3363545 Comments: 41 Vote: average 6258meh 12Share 
It was the end of hot yoga class and we were doing our final meditation. I was blissfully relaxed and musing on a mental image of the beautiful Benedict Cumberbatch. The instructor said, "Just try to focus on your breath - if any thoughts enter your mind just let them pass over you like a cloud." I thought of a cloud in the shape of Benedict Cumberbatch. He said hello in a sinister baritone. I snickered and disrupted everyone around me. MLIA.
#3361173 Comments: 30 Vote: average 6237meh 14Share 

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