MyLifeIsAverage

Today, I saw on MLIA that someone got a list for sending care packages to troops in Iraq that included silly string. I'm a stationed in Iraq so I thought I'd explain. When we first got to Iraq in 2003 Spiderman 1 had just come out there and all the kids were excited about it, but they couldnt go out and see it because of the war breaking out. So we had this Army guy who had a great idea. Since he kind of looked like Toby McGuire he hid silly string bottles under his wrists and when Iraqi children came by he flicked his wrist like spiderman and string came out. He managed to convince many Iraqi children that all of the troops can do and now all of us travel around doing the same thing, brightening their lives a little. So guys, please send lots of silly string to Iraq, we need more. Its fun for us, and even funner for the kids. MLIA

Today, I learned that if you run towards the guy trying to break into your car yelling "Swiper, no swiping!" he'll look at you like an idiot. I also learned that my handy can of mace will wipe that look off in t-minus 2 seconds. Take that, loser. MLIA

Today I realised that replacing the word "Willy" instead of "Wand" makes the Harry Potter stories more interesting. For example, "Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his willy hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent." MLIA

Today, I saw my ex-wife. In the local shopping centre. How? I'm one of the policeman who arrested her for shop-lifting and vandalism. MLIA

MLIA. Is yours?

Today, I was in China on a business trip. Some vendor gave me free ice cream and it made my day. I then realized that even my day was made in China. MLIA

A few weeks ago, I was at the cast party for my school's play. Not being a party person, I had my book and was searching for a quiet place to read when one of the boys in cast asked me what I was doing. When I explained that I had to hide to read or else my friends would drag me back into the party, he told me to wait a sec, then ran away. He came back thirty seconds later with a group of friends to sit around me and talk quietly so I would look like I was being social. He is now my boyfriend. MLIA

My friend had an eye problem as a child, one of his eyes had to be removed. Today he sent me a text with a smile emoticon at the end. .) I couldn't stop laughing. MLIA.

Months ago, Google won the epic Google vs. Yahoo war. Now there shall be no more mentions of this. It's over. MLIA.

Today is my birthday, and I was home alone with my brother. To treat myself, I took a long, warm bath for about an hour. After I stepped out, I was really warm and sleepy, and my room doesn't have heating, so I put a towel around myself, my hair, and on the floor, and fell asleep. Two hours later I wake up to the lights low, rose petals scattered on my body (still wrapped in a towel) and scented candles around my head. When I came out of the bathroom, confused, my ten year-old brother yelled happily, "IT WORKED!" Apparently, he had done this because he thought I had died and wanted to bring my soul back into my body. That kid's going places. MLIA.