MyLifeIsAverage

Today, trying to be sexy, I stopped my boyfriend in the hallway and whispered in his ear, "I'm not wearing a bra." He whispered back, "Me neither." Sexy fail. MLIA

Today, my entire family went out to eat, bringing my best friend along. At one point, my dad's old teacher saw him and he introduced her to ourfamily. Everyone in my family has dark brown hair, and the teacher was saying how we all looked just like my dad. He pointed at my blonde friend and said, "Except for this daughter, and she looks just like the mailman, which has always concerned me." You should have seen the look of shock on his teacher's face.

Today, I threw away my trash can because it was too dirty. MLIA

Today, I forgot which way was left and which was right. So I made an L with my two hands. It didn't help because I forgot which way an L went. MLIA.

Today, I had slept in and was late going to school. On a note I wrote my reason for being late as "busy fighting crime" and I drew the Batman symbol under it. My mom laughed, signed it, and dropped me off to school. When I got to school I signed in at the attendance office, and gave my note to the secretary. I went to class, but ten minutes into class I was called back down to the office. Guess who got a high five from the principal? Not me, I got a detention for fraudulence and got the incident put on my permanent record. MLIA

Today I read that in Britain instead of saying "cupcake" they say "fairy cake". Never again will I say cupcake. MLIA

Today, I realized that being healthy is just dying at the slowest rate possible. MLIA

Today, I saw a hobo with a sign that said "I need a dollar, but a smile would be nice too". I smiled at him. He flipped me off. MLIA

Today, I got into the shower and started to shampoo my hair. My legs started to feel really really weird. I looked down, and saw I was still wearing my pants. MLIA

Today, I was about to video chat with my girlfriend, and I smelled bad. I put cologne on. Just in case. MLIA