MyLifeIsAverage

Today, I was at the store, and instead of saying "paper or plastic?" the checker said "Kill a tree or strangle a bird?" MLIA

Today I was watching Jeopardy. Someone picked a question that was "Robert Pattinson portrays this teenage hero." One woman guessed Edward Cullen. She was wrong. The answer was Cedric Diggory. MLIA

Today I went into a public bathroom... Something fell out of my pocket. Upset, I muttered "Jesus christ!" then I hear from the stall next to me, "yes my child?" MLIA.

Today, I received a long break up voice mail from a girl named Ashley, to her (ex)boyfriend Shaun. My name is Cynthia, and I listened to Ashley's extremely detailed list of problems that Shaun had during sex. Personally, I think Ashley is just picky, and Shaun is doing just fine. MLIA.

I was at my campus bookstore, returning some of my textbooks. The cashier next to mine was given $112 and was told to take out $30 from it. She then asked "What's 30 subtracted from 112?" At that moment, everyone who heard the question looked at me, expecting me to answer. I'm Asian. MLIA.

Today my friend told me he was a vampire; I threw my garlic bread at him. MLIA

Today, my friend told me that if I got this published he would make me a sandwich. I'm hungry, make it happen. MLIA.

Today, I was at the hospital with my dying grandfather. Knowing that his time was almost up, I asked him if he wanted anything at all. He told me that he just wanted to pass on in peace. As soon as he said that, my grandmother walked into the room, I heard my grandpa mumble "guess that's not gonna happen." MLIA.

Today on the way to Wal-Mart, I saw a school bus parked outside a strip club. Kids these days. MLIA

today, I saw a guy wearing a dinosaur t-shirt, singing taylor swift, and reading Harry Potter. His name? John Smith. If MLIA was a person, it would be that guy.