MyLifeIsAverage

Today, I went to eat dinner at Olive Garden with my mom. The little boy at the table next to us roared like a dinosaur the whole time. I tried to high five him on the way out, but he shouted "stranger danger!" It was akward. MLIA.

Today, I was watching Jersey Shore, when one of the girls said "I hate eating lobsters... they're alive when you kill them!!" I began to wonder what ISN'T alive when you kill it... MLIA.

When I went off to college, I was extremely paranoid that I would talk in my sleep and say something embarrassing in front of my roommate. After a week, she informed me that I indeed talk my sleep, but apparently, all I do is meow. MLIA

Today, my great grandma told me her power was out so i couldn't call her and ask her how she was. She told me this in an email. i must be annoying. MLIA.

Last week, I was out for lunch with my boyfriend. While reading the menu, my boyfriend takes the salt shaker and throws salt at me while saying, "You've just been assaulted." I couldn't eat the rest of my meal without giggling. MLIA

Today my mother was unable to remember what a lower back tattoo was called (tramp stamp) so she called it a "Hoe Patch." I like it better.

Today, my Mom woke me up at 6 a.m. to show me a pear shaped egg. It was totally worth it. MLIA

Today, I asked my 7-year-old cousin why he's covered with glitter dust he answered "A girl at art class said I'll get a kiss if I'm sparkling", "So'd she kiss you?", "Yes, all girls did." MLIA and so is his.

Today, I walked downstairs to find my brother drinking a very dark green disgusting looking substance. Turns out it was water with a bunch of green food coloring in it because he wanted to feel like he was "drinking magic potion". He's 17. MLIA.

Yesterday, I was over at my friend's house. When I got back home, I realized I'd forgotten my phone at her house. Since it was late, I decided not to go back and get it, figuring she would bring it to school tomorrow. She did, and seemed rather sheepish when she gave it to me. Wondering why, I looked at my phone to see that I had a missed call from last night. From my friend. Right after I'd gotten home. She had tried to call me to tell me that I left my phone at her house. I'm worried about that girl. MLIA