Today I was riding home in my car listening to the radio. The weather report came on, and the guy announced the temperature to be "a very romantic 69 degrees". I laughed out loud.

Today, my life stories for FML, MLIG, and MLIA were all denied. I was slightly upset at the fact that my life is neither good, bad, or average. MLIA

Today I tried to exit the grocery store via the automatic door. When I approached the door it did not open. I inched forward and it still did not open. People behind me started laughing so I just walked away. Then the door opened. MLIA

Today I was using a public restroom and there was a sign behind the toilet that said "don't flush with foot. $250 fine" I still flushed with my foot and received no fine. I felt like a bad ass. MLIA

Today, while my friend was at the Verizon store getting her phone fixed, I took out my AT&T phone. I felt like I was invading enemy territory. MLIA

A few days ago, I ordered something off of amazon. Today, it arrived 3 days before the earliest delivery estimate. I've never been so happy. MLIA

Today, I realized that I sit up straighter when I pass a police officer in my car. Although I'm fairly sure they can't give out tickets for slouching, better safe than sorry. MLIA.

Today, when I was brushing my teeth, my spit was red. I was scared and thought my mouth or throat was bleeding and I couldn't feel it. Then I remembered that I had just eaten a red popsicle. MLIA

Today, my friend was talking about a photo of her on Facebook. I had already seen the photo, but acted like I hadn't so I wouldn't seem like a stalker. MLIA.

Today, I got my tonsils removed. While I was wating for someone to remove all the qauze from my mouth, I started holding my breath so my heart rate would slow down and it would start beeping faster. She noticed and came right to me. My plan worked. MLIA