Today, I picked up a pizza. On the way home I didn't want it to get cold so I put it on the passenger seat and turned the seat warmer on. I'm pretty sure it made a difference. MLIA

A few weeks ago, I decided to be clever and hide money in one of my pockets to surprise my future self. Today, I couldn't find that money and was angry with my past self. MLIA

Today, I was stopped at a red light. A guy in one of the cars across from me opened his door, jumped out of his car, and danced until the light turned green. It was the most entertaining part of my day. MLIA.

Today, while cooking breakfast, I started to talk in an accent and pretended I was a master chef on a cooking show. It made my food taste much better. MLIA

Today, I was going into my basement. I played some horror music on my iPod for effect. I got scared and left. MLIA

Today, I was talking to my friend about food. My friend said "I love food." and I replied with "Me too, it's like all I eat!". There was a silence. Then we laughed. MLIA

Today my new puppy was rolling around on his back, barking, and it sort of looked like he was laughing. My mom suggested we name our new dog Roflcopter. I pretended to be enthusiastic but was secretly really jealous that she had thought of the name before I had. MLIA

Today, my friend was complaining that she's never had a boyfriend. I told her I'd never had a boyfriend either. I'm lesbian. She did not appreciate my humor. MLIA

Today, my mom bought a shirt that said "That's what she said" on it. I had to explain it to her. Now my dad says "That's what she said" all the time at all the right moments. My mom still doesn't get it. MLIA

Today, I learned that Ken is two years younger than Barbie. That makes Barbie a cougar. That's pretty sweet. MLIA.