Yesterday, a friend and I were talking about how there were so many emoticons to choose from and wondered if it was possible to have an entire conversation using a combination of the emoticons. 45 minutes and zero words later, we had fully discussed the sensibility of nursery rhymes, in particular the one with the cow jumping over the moon. MLIA

Today, I bought a chocolate bar that on the front said "Made in a peanut free facility." When I turned it over to read the back it said "Caution: May contain peanuts." I am thoroughly confused. MLIA

Today, I opened a carton of butter. Underneath the top, there was a card that said, "This carton has been opened." Thanks for clearing that up for me, butter. MLIA

Today, my brother told me he had to write a paper for his English class about something that impacted his life. Most kids wrote about something serious, such as a relative who had died of cancer. My brother wrote about how when he was a little kid, one time at the fair a pig got out of its cage and chased him. He got an A. I love my brother. MLIA.

Today, I tried #15 of the 333 ways to get kicked out of Wal-Mart. I walked around the store and put bags of candy in random people's carts. When I was checking out, the mother ahead of me was arguing with her young son. He kept saying "But Mom, it's magic candy! We HAVE to get it!!!" She gave in and bought it. You're welcome, little one. MLIA

Today, I was listening to my little sister talk in her sleep while watching TV. At one point, she said, "And I would like some fries with that." I drove to McDonalds, ordered chicken nuggets, a drink, and a large fries, went back home, and put the food next to her. When she woke up, she yelled "DREAMS DO COME TRUE!" MLIA.

Today,I was babysitting a 8 year old girl who wanted me to read her a bedtime story. Near the end of the book my foot began to fall asleep. I let her know so i could ajust my leg. She looked up at me wide-eyed then turned around and began shaking my foot as she screamed "WAKE UP! WAKE UP FOOT! YOU CAN'T DIE! I JUST GOT OVER DUMBLEDOORS DEATH,UGH!" then proceeded to turn around to me like nothing happened.This girl's going places. MLIA

Today, while looking through old school books, I discovered that I couldn't write 'e's when I was young and therefore left them out of words. What makes this an mlia is that my name is melia. MLIA

Once, I got home from school and my mom was sitting at the dining room table looking unusually serious. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that she had something important to tell me. I sat down, and she said, "I want you to know that if you ever come across an armadillo, DO NOT touch it under any circumstances. They spread leprosy." I live in Maryland, and I have never seen an armadillo in my life. I was rendered completely speechless. MLIA

Last night, while at a high school party, someone turned on Finding Nemo. Instead of telling them to turn it off, everyone cheered. MLIA