Today my sister bought fruit and told me that I could not touch it because she would know if I did. I stole her pineapple and replaced it with a different one. She'll never know. MLIA

Today, when I had friends over, I said 'Sorry the house is such a mess', even though I had just spent 2 hours cleaning it, so they would think I was very neat. MLIA

Today I realized that in one of the classrooms in my school gullible really is written on the ceiling. MLIA

Today, I found this "Boing Putty" at the store that says "Ages 5 & up" on the first line and "Not suitable for children under 3" on the next line. I really want to know how they feel about 4 year olds. MLIA.

Today, In science we were taking a quiz i forgot to study for. When the first question came up it said, "what are the two different types of bonds? and what makes them different?" I didn't know so instead of leaving it blank i wrote, "That's an easy question. The two different kinds of bonds are James Bond and Barry Bonds. The difference is that Barry uses steroids and James doesn't." I didn't get an A, but i got a high five. MLIA

Today, after a long day of doing homework, I tried to use my calculator to send someone a text message. MLIA

Today, I lost my purity ring. Later, I found it in my pants. MLIA

Today we were in the computer lab for class. We were supposed to be working on a project in partners, but my friend left me to do all the work, while she spent the time talking with her boyfriend. She then left the classroom to go the bathroom. For the five minutes she was gone, I managed to fill her desktop with 1365 folders labelled "lesbian porn". She didn't know the folders were empty, and neither did our teacher. I win. MLIA.

The other day, I tried to be cool like the MLIAers who draw pictures on their tests for bonus points. I was pretty proud about my unicorn illustration, until I got my test back with 5 points taken off for "poor testing etiquette". MLIA

Today, my mom disinfected our toilet. Thus meaning she put the stuff in it to make it blue. Upon hearing this, my sister jumped out of her seat and yelled, "Dibs on peeing in it first!" while running to the bathroom. I love my sister. MLIA