Today, I accidently locked my car keys in my car. Then I reached into my convertible to get them.
Today, I looked down and my wiener was a little pink. That's ok, I put it back on the grill for a few more minutes. MLIA.
Today I went to a restaurant and found out they don't have a smoking section. I don't smoke. MLIA
Today I walked in on my dad playing with himself. He really loves solitare. MLIA
Today I ate a gusher. My head did not turn into a fruit. MLIA
Today, I have my 20 page research paper due. My printer broke this morning and I haven't had an internet connection for the last week. It's okay though, because I printed it out yesterday. MLIA.
Today, I bought a bottle of Snapple, and read the Snapple Fact that began with, "Did you know?". I didn't know. MLIA.
Today, I was at the store and the store clerk said "If you need anything, I'm Jen." I didn't need anything. She was still Jen. MLIA.