Today my friend told me he was a vampire; I threw my garlic bread at him. MLIA

Today, I was at the hospital with my dying grandfather. Knowing that his time was almost up, I asked him if he wanted anything at all. He told me that he just wanted to pass on in peace. As soon as he said that, my grandmother walked into the room, I heard my grandpa mumble "guess that's not gonna happen." MLIA.

Last night, my 78 year old grandma came over for dinner. Before dinner I was just walking around the house eating trail mix. I saw my grandma sitting on the couch so I walked over and offered her a raisin. She replies "No thanks. Raisins always remind me of old people." We laughed. MLIA

Today, I was drinking blue Gatorade with a pink straw. The straw turned purple every time I took a sip. I was amazed. MLIA.

Yesterday, I bought two goldfish who were orange and white, so I named them Ron and Draco. Today I went to go feed them but instead I found the Draco fish floating upside down and the Ron fish swimming in circles above it. Well played Ron, well played. MLIA

Today, I was upset because I got a C on a quiz. My friend then told me, "That means you are average. I know you love that website." I have never been more excited about getting a C. MLIA

Today I was watching Jeopardy. Someone picked a question that was "Robert Pattinson portrays this teenage hero." One woman guessed Edward Cullen. She was wrong. The answer was Cedric Diggory. MLIA

In high school my spanish class was taught by a teacher at another school via video conference. To get out of class we would all "freeze" and not talk until the teacher ended class thinking that camera was broken. MLIA

Today I realised that when I need to say the past tense of "think" I always say "thunk" then remember it's "thought". Thank you Dr. Seuss. MLIA

As I was walking home, a van stopped near me. I got really scared so I decided to stay in one spot and text until the person in the van left. I stood there for at least 5 minutes texting and the van was still there. Then I looked at the guy in the van, and realized he was waiting for me to cross so he could get into his driveway. MLIA.