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provocative

Today my three year-old niece wanted to play "Hide and Go and Seek" as she calls it, and every time I went to go look for her and took too long she would come running out of her hiding spot saying she was "Right here, silly."
#3362376 Comments: 311 Votes: average 8521meh 9544Share 
Last month I got in a wreck where I wasn't at fault but the insurance put me at fault. I got several threatening text messages from the woman who hit me trying to make me accept fault. I found out that her new car got smashed to shit yesterday. I'm a suspect. MLIA.
#3360988 Comments: 777 Votes: average 3783meh 2502Share 
Today, I shaved my legs to the Armageddon film score. It was epic. MLIA
#3362084 Comments: 1043 Votes: average 12332meh 7057Share 
for christmas i got these awesome shoes, but when i tried them on, they didn't fit because my feet are wide. so i went to the store and tried on the next biggest size and my feet looked giant, so a few weeks later i just got a different style.
#1693024 Comments: 91 Votes: average 20meh 42Share 
Two days ago, in biology, the boy to my right asked me if I liked Biffy Clyro. I said "Yeah, they're alright.", to which he replied "They're ALRIGHT?" I said "Yeah. ...Do you like Green Day?" He said "Yeah, they're alright." We both laughed.
#3361801 Comments: 769 Votes: average 4057meh 2518Share 
Today, I was pining for oatmeal. I decided to work for it by going on a jog. When I came back, I found that the oatmeal packet was empty and Dad was scraping the last of the oatmeal from his bowl. MLIA
#3361981 Comments: 71 Votes: average 4067meh 2499Share 
To me the only difference about being the only one home is that i play my music louder. MLIA
#3362436 Comments: 109 Votes: average 4115meh 2507Share 
My family was out to dinner at a steakhouse. My dad always orders thousand island dressing for his salad, but today he asked if he could borrow some of my sister's ranch. She said, "Okay - wait, ew, are you going to mix them? Gross!" Just as a waiter approached our table, my dad shouted, "Yes! THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH CROSS-DRESSING." I love my dad. MLIA
#3361174 Comments: 19 Votes: average 6250meh 15Share 
Sometimes, I randomly yell "I cannot feel my tail" for no good reason.
#3361805 Comments: 8 Votes: average 4071meh 2517Share 
Today, a girl walked into my first period class with what looked like a Harry Potter scar on her forhead. I got really excited, thinking that something cool was going to happen. Turns out that it was supposed to be a cross for Ash Wednesday. MLIA
#1678005 Comments: 16 Votes: average 36meh 12Share 

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